Top 100 Jokes About a Drum Pump

Let us now turn our attention to the top one hundred jokes on the subject of the drum pump and see if it can produce a chuckle or two. For laughter is an important part of life. It makes this miserable experience of existence a little more palatable than it would otherwise be. We all know that we must see this sad existence all the way through to its proper end. Suicide is a foul form of cheating and is strictly forbidden. Therefore, if we must be here all this time we might as well laugh and make the most of it.

BRING ON THE TOP 100 DRUM PUMP JOKES!

100. Why did the pump cross the road? Answer : Although pumps are essentially inanimate objects and cannot cross roads under their own power, they can be transported from one location to another under the power of a person. Therefore, the reason for the pump crossing the road would be the reason for the person transporting the drum pump across the road. For this reason you should see the information you are looking for from that person I suspect.

99. Why does the pump wear red suspenders? Answer : to keep his or her pants up.

98. A one eyed Chinaman and a pump walk into a bar. The Chinaman orders a beer and the pump orders a glass of sparkling water. The bartender quickly serves the Chinaman but proceeds to ignore the request of the pump. At length the pump sits up in his chair and clears his throat. “Excuse me,” the pump spoke up. “What about my glass of sparkling water?” “Oh,” replied the bartender, “I thought you were joking about that.”

97. Knock knock. Who’s there? A pump fit for a drum. A pump fit for a drum who? Orange you glad I did not say banana again?

Top 100 Golf Cart Florida Jokes

Of course a three hundred word blog post is not sufficiently long enough to include all one hundred of the top one hundred golf cart Florida jokes. As such, this may end up being a multi-part series of posts. We shall have to see how the author (that is I gentle reader) feels both after the three hundredth word has been typed to this blog post as well as the next time this assignment comes up in my queue. Another factor to consider is that I do not want to many of the same type of blog post with the same key words appearing on the same blog. This is not ideal for search engine optimization purposes as you (my most loyal reader) can certainly attest.

GOLF CART FLORIDA JOKES

100. How many golf carts does it take to screw in a light bulb in Port Charlotte? Answer : None. Golf carts do not possess the capacity to screw in light bulbs either in Port Charlotte or any other location. Furthermore, Florida is the “Sunshine State” therefore there is ample light to see by. Accordingly, there is no need for the additional light that a light bulb would provide.

99. Why did the golf cart cross the road? Answer : The golf cart crossed the road to transport its elderly driver from the retirement community in which he lives (for now) to the pharmacy in order to refill his many life preserving prescriptions.

98. Why does the golf cart wear red suspenders? Answer : To keep his pants up.

97. Knock, Knock. Who’s There? Golf cart. Golf cart who? Golf cart you glad I did not say banana yet another time?

96. A Mexican, a Frenchman and a golf cart go into a bar. The Mexican orders a sangria. The Frenchman orders a glass of Bordeaux. The golf cart orders a glass of gasoline. The bartender quickly serves the first two customers and apologizes to the golf cart because he does not serve gasoline. The golf cart says, “That’s okay. I’m electric anyway.”

Finding The Affordable Golf Carts Florida Has Hidden From You

There is a sense that if one were to find the affordable golf carts Florida has hidden from you that a universal consciousness will be achieved. Sometimes we refer to this universal consciousness as “the Port Charlotte experience” although it is unclear where that term originated. Of course when we speak of affordable golf carts we are not talking about actual golf carts. You might say that we are speaking of the divine golf cart that each of carries around within our soul. You might say that it is in fact your soul which is to say it is YOU.

THE INNER AFFORDABLE GOLF CARTS FLORIDA

You might ask why the golf cart that is the soul is made plural and why it must be associated with the state of Florida? These are all worthy questions. One might say that the golf cart of the soul is plural because the singular form of golf cart is insufficient to express the majesty of the thing described. You might say that it is associated with Florida because Florida is the “Sunshine State” and the sun is the ultimate symbol of the source of power and creation.

You might then ask why we refer to universal consciousness as “the Port Charlotte experience”? This in a sense is a more difficult nut to crack. Let us start with the notion that Port Charlotte is a port city. That is, it is a city (which is a collection or concentration of souls) to which ships that sail upon the ocean (which is a metaphor of the infinite) bring goods from afar. It is quite an infrequent event that an individual experiences a universal consciousness. It is quite impossible for the individual to make this happen on his own.  No, the goods (as it were) must be delivered from afar across the infinite.

A Closer Look at Utah Travel Agencies

(1) - 1There are many Utah travel agencies to choose from if you are looking to take a trip in 2017. When considering the right travel agency for you the Home and Garden Top 100 Blogs suggests you also consider the following factors. First of all you need to make sure that the travel agency has a good reputation. This determination can be easily accomplished by reading online reviews about the travel agency in question. If there are no reviews at all you might want to consider that a red flag. Yelp.com is always a good reference for this type of research. Second of all you will want to know if the travel agency can make the arrangements you want them to make. For this information you can ask your friends and associates, check out the travel agency’s website or even call up the travel agency and ask them in person. You will want to know that they can do what you want them to do before you engage their services.

Do Your Research About Utah Travel Agencies

Effective travel agencies have connections in the world of travel and tourism. This means that they should know all the tricks of the trade. They will know what sort of travel you will need to get to the destination of your choice. For example, the effective travel agency will know if the best way to get from where you are to where you want to be is by train, plane, bus, car, boat or some other mode of transportation. They will also know or be able to find out what tourist locations are available in the vicinity of the location to which you intend to travel. This might include museums, monuments, restaurants and other attractions. A good travel agent will also be able to make suggestions that you might not have considered about your destination.

Don’t Build On a Flood Plain without Flood Insurance

noahs_arkMost loyal readers of the Home and Garden Top 100 blog should be well aware of the necessity to protect their home from water damage Utah. This is true regardless of whether they live in Utah or any other state. Certainly if said reader lived in a state other that Utah they would be protecting their home from water damage (whatever the name of their state is). But really, this distinction is of no matter because water damage is water damage no matter what state (or country for that matter) it happens to occur. So in that respect, water damage Utah can really happen in any state when you think about it.

Proceeding from the well established proposition that water damage Utah can happen in any state let us now discuss how a reader of the Home and Garden Top 100 blog should go about protecting their house therefrom. One of the best ways to do this is to not build your house on a flood plain. It goes without saying that floods are more likely to happen on flood plains than areas that are not designated as flood plains. Accordingly, it also goes without saying that it is a good practice to avoid building a house on a flood plain in order to avoid that same house incurring water damage.

Another way to protect a house from water damage is to make sure that it is ensured against flood damage. Of course this type of protection occurs after the water damage has been incurred. Nevertheless, most home owner’s insurance policies do not protect against flood damage. It is for this reason that the Home and Garden Top 100 Blog strongly recommends home owners purchase a separate flood insurance policy. This is especially true if the house in question has been built upon a flood plain.

The Importance of External Links

-1x-1As a cutting edge SEO Salt Lake City company what would you say is the best way for a web site to achieve a high rank in a search engine’s listings?

 

BF : The most effective method for a website to increase its search engine listings rank is to obtain external links.

 

What exactly is an external link?

 

BF : Simply put an external link is any hyperlink on another website that links back to the primary website.

 

Why is this important?

 

BF : External links pointing to a primary website are important because they are an easy and objective way to measure how popular the primary website happens to be.

 

So website rankings are determined primarily by the number of links pointing to them in combination with specific search terms?

 

BF : Primarily yes, but there are other factors at play as well. For example, if the linking domain is determined to untrustworthy then it will likely not help to augment the primary website’s rank.

 

What factors determine whether a website is trustworthy or not?

 

BF : A website containing nonsensical or spam content is typically flagged by web crawlers as untrustworthy. Also websites designed for the sole purpose of embedding a link to a primary website is also likely to be labeled as untrustworthy.

 

Are those types of websites easy to spot?

 

BF : It depends on the content. Many Utah SEO companies employ freelance writers to create content. When content is created by a person it is less likely to be flagged as spam by a search engine web crawler.

 

What other factors come into play?

 

BF : Web crawlers also look at the popularity of the referring website as well as the content relevancy relative to the primary webpage it links to. There are many other factors but the ones we have so far discussed are very important in terms of SEO.

To Name a Few Scents…

Tips for WinterizationDreams as commonly defined are characterized as a progression of mental images, feelings and other sensations that seem to transpire outside the volition of the person experiencing the dream during a state of sleep. Another commonly used definition of the word dream is in the context of an aspiration or goal. These types of dreams are goals to achieve and are very much more within the volition of the aspirant although not entirely so in every situation.

 

One situation where a dream lies squarely within the volitional powers of the aspirant is the situation where the aspirant makes the very fateful and impactful decision to join Scentsy. This decision is both fateful and impactful because it both changes the future of the aspirant and because it alters the living standard of the aspirant in a very significant manner. One might say that to aspire to this dream is to dream the dream unlimited.

 

Whether a person chooses to join Scentsy or whether that person chooses to remain a civilian it must be declared with much certitude that scents abound in everything and everywhere. It is these very scents that are the stock and trade of a Scentsy sales consultant. There are a myriad of scents to choose from including but by no means limited to the adored Scentsy Bar, the Amazon Rain Scentsy Bar, the Apple S’mores Scentsy Bar, the Aussie Plum Scentsy Bar, the Baked Apple Pie Scentsy Bar, the Bamboo Yuzu Scentsy Bar, the Beach Scentsy Bar, the Berry Bubble Blue Scentsy Bar, the Black Raspberry Vanilla Scentsy Bar, the Blackberry Merinque Scentsy Bar, the Blond Wood and Moon Flower Scentsy Bar, the Blueberry Cheesecake Scentsy Bar, the Blueberry Rush Scentsy Bar, the Bonfire Beach Scentsy Bar, the Bora Bora Blossom Scentsy Bar, the Braeburn Scentsy Bar and the Brazilian Grapes Scentsy

Successful ASVAB Preparation

flowersEvery candidate for enlistment in the United States Armed Services must take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery or ASVAB test prior to enlistment. This is true for each and every branch of the United States Armed Services including the U.S. Army, the U.S. Navy, the U.S. Marines Corps, the U.S. Air Force, the U.S. Coast Guard as well as the U.S. National Guard. The ASVAB will test each candidate’s qualification for enlistment as well as determine which occupation within the United States Armed Services would be the best fit for the candidate.

 

Most successful candidates for enlistment prepared for the ASVAB by taking the ASVAB practice test. Taking the practice test will prepare the candidate for enlistment both by making them familiar with the test format as well as preparing them for the various subjects covered by the ASVAB test. The subject areas covered by the ASVAB test include (1) General Science, (2) Arithmetic Reasoning, (3) Word Knowledge, (4) Paragraph Comprehension, (5) Mathematics Knowledge, (6) Electronics Information, (7) Automotive and Shop Information, (8) Mechanical Comprehension, (9) Assembling Objects as well as (10) Verbal expression. The ASVAB test includes both a standardized, computer test format section and a written test format section.

 

When a candidate for enlistment into the United States Armed Services prepares for the ASVAB test by taking the ASVAB practice test he or she will likely substantially increase the probability of a successful outcome. It is possible for a candidate for enlistment into the United States Armed Services to preform well on the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery without having taking a practice version of the test, however, it seems likely that most successful candidates do in fact take multiple versions of the practice version. For this reason and for this reason alone it is highly recommended that any candidate for enlistment prepare for the ASVAB by taking the practice ASVAB test.

A Conversation with a Cleaning Lady

cleaning productsSo you are a cleaning lady? Is that correct?

 

CL : I am but I do not approve of that label.

 

What would you rather I call you?

 

CL : You could call me a house cleaner I suppose.

 

So you object to the term “lady”?

 

CL : It seems a little sexist or misogynist frankly.

 

I certainly did not mean it that way.

 

CL : I understand. We’re transitioning as a society in terms of values and sexual stereotypes. The language is lagging behind a bit so you cannot be blamed for using the wrong terminology during this time of transition. It is a fact that I work for a cleaning service Vancouver and it is also a fact that I am a lady. You said nothing untrue. There was no intentional falsehood or derogatory labeling I am sure.

 

Of course not. I was simply trying to establish the fact that the person with whom I am conversing is a woman who happens to work in a house cleaning Vancouver capacity.

 

CL : Well I think we have sufficiently established that fact. Did you happen to have a follow up question or are we done here?

 

I’m sensing some hostility here.

 

CL : Honestly, I feel a little hostile right now. I object to being labeled in general. I am a person and I have an independent existence which is separate from my occupation. My job does not define me as a person in other words.

 

I never said that.

 

CL : Yes, but you implied it.

I…

 

CL : I’m going to cut you off there. I know you’re going to deny trying to put me in the cleaning lady box. Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t. Maybe you did it unintentionally. If that’s the case what is the point of getting into an argument about it?

Is working from home to good to be true?

 

 

-1x-1

 

Working from home is most peoples dream come true.  But is working from home really a dream come true or is it going to be a waking nightmare.  Working from home scams can be found on the news all the time.  However there are many reasons why working from home could be the greatest thing to happen to you, that is if you do it through a legitimate company.

One in five Americans work from home at least once a week.  Most of those people are happier with their home and work life balance.  They find that being at home lets them be part of the fun that is going on at home.  Working from home appeals to certain groups of people more then others. Parents would rather work from home so that they can be part of daily workings of the family.  Military spouses prefer working at home, this could be because it is easier to work at home with all the moving around.  Retirees like working at home.  This allows them to bring in some extra money if they are unable to drive into work.  The last group are those with disabilities for pretty apparent reasons.

What are some motives for working at home?  Well the first reason is avoiding a commute.  This for lots of people is the biggest reason to work from home. This allows people to work at a great job and also live where they  want.  Working from home gives people more flexibility within their schedules. This allows parents especially to be apart of kids extra activities.   Studies have found that working from home increases productivity.  This could be a good selling point if you want to talk to your boss about working from home.   Working from home saves families money.  From gas in the car to paying for daycare money spent decreases.

Now with all this information that you have, you may be ready to talk to your boss about working from home.  Before you do that thought there are certain fields that have more working at home positions.   Healthcare is first on our list.  There is always a need for healthcare professionals. Medical transcribers work from home and some medical billing specialist work from home.  Education is the second field.  It really doesn’t matter what aspect of education you are in.  Lessons or tutoring most often takes place in the home.  The final field is sales and marketing.  This should be pretty easy to figure out why.

So with all this how do you if a business is real or not?  Start by doing tons of research into the company.  Look for reviews on the company or ask people that may have worked in the company. If it is a real company you should be able find things about it on Google or Yelp.  If you are looking for a company that allows  people work from home right off the bat then you could always join Scentsy or another company like it.