Let us now turn our attention to the top one hundred jokes on the subject of the drum pump and see if it can produce a chuckle or two. For laughter is an important part of life. It makes this miserable experience of existence a little more palatable than it would otherwise be. We all know that we must see this sad existence all the way through to its proper end. Suicide is a foul form of cheating and is strictly forbidden. Therefore, if we must be here all this time we might as well laugh and make the most of it.
BRING ON THE TOP 100 DRUM PUMP JOKES!
100. Why did the pump cross the road? Answer : Although pumps are essentially inanimate objects and cannot cross roads under their own power, they can be transported from one location to another under the power of a person. Therefore, the reason for the pump crossing the road would be the reason for the person transporting the drum pump across the road. For this reason you should see the information you are looking for from that person I suspect.
99. Why does the pump wear red suspenders? Answer : to keep his or her pants up.
98. A one eyed Chinaman and a pump walk into a bar. The Chinaman orders a beer and the pump orders a glass of sparkling water. The bartender quickly serves the Chinaman but proceeds to ignore the request of the pump. At length the pump sits up in his chair and clears his throat. “Excuse me,” the pump spoke up. “What about my glass of sparkling water?” “Oh,” replied the bartender, “I thought you were joking about that.”
97. Knock knock. Who’s there? A pump fit for a drum. A pump fit for a drum who? Orange you glad I did not say banana again?
Of course a three hundred word blog post is not sufficiently long enough to include all one hundred of the top one hundred golf cart Florida jokes. As such, this may end up being a multi-part series of posts. We shall have to see how the author (that is I gentle reader) feels both after the three hundredth word has been typed to this blog post as well as the next time this assignment comes up in my queue. Another factor to consider is that I do not want to many of the same type of blog post with the same key words appearing on the same blog. This is not ideal for search engine optimization purposes as you (my most loyal reader) can certainly attest.
GOLF CART FLORIDA JOKES
100. How many golf carts does it take to screw in a light bulb in Port Charlotte? Answer : None. Golf carts do not possess the capacity to screw in light bulbs either in Port Charlotte or any other location. Furthermore, Florida is the “Sunshine State” therefore there is ample light to see by. Accordingly, there is no need for the additional light that a light bulb would provide.
99. Why did the golf cart cross the road? Answer : The golf cart crossed the road to transport its elderly driver from the retirement community in which he lives (for now) to the pharmacy in order to refill his many life preserving prescriptions.
98. Why does the golf cart wear red suspenders? Answer : To keep his pants up.
97. Knock, Knock. Who’s There? Golf cart. Golf cart who? Golf cart you glad I did not say banana yet another time?
96. A Mexican, a Frenchman and a golf cart go into a bar. The Mexican orders a sangria. The Frenchman orders a glass of Bordeaux. The golf cart orders a glass of gasoline. The bartender quickly serves the first two customers and apologizes to the golf cart because he does not serve gasoline. The golf cart says, “That’s okay. I’m electric anyway.”
Sometimes you just want to get away from your home and garden and take a shuttle from Salt Lake City to Park City for a change of pace. Yes it is true that Salt Lake City has a lot going for it. There is the Temple Square where the headquarters of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints resides. In this location you can see the Mormon Temple and its associated buildings. Many book worms will also enjoy a visit to the Salt Lake City Public Library. It goes without saying that the Great Salt Lake itself is an attraction any visitor to Salt Lake City will want to take (a float) in.
SHUTTLE FROM SALT LAKE CITY TO PARK CITY
But all these attractions in Salt Lake City can become tiresome after a while. This is especially true if you are a resident of Salt Lake City and have already visited these attractions many times before. It is for this reason that you might want to find a mode of transportation away from Salt Lake City to some other more pristine location. But you also probably do not want to go very far as time is limited for most people in this modern age we live in.
Can anyone think of a better location to take a shuttle to from Salt Lake City than Park City, Utah? There is the Park City Main Street Historic District. If skiing is your thing there is the Deer Valley Resort. Perhaps you might want to visit the Utah Olympic Park or the Alpine Coaster. If you are in the mood for a more mellow experience there is always the Park City Museum which is conveniently located on Main Street in the heart of Park City. Of course when you are done visiting all these attractions you can then return to Salt Lake City on the shuttle you rode in on.
There is a sense that if one were to find the affordable golf carts Florida has hidden from you that a universal consciousness will be achieved. Sometimes we refer to this universal consciousness as “the Port Charlotte experience” although it is unclear where that term originated. Of course when we speak of affordable golf carts we are not talking about actual golf carts. You might say that we are speaking of the divine golf cart that each of carries around within our soul. You might say that it is in fact your soul which is to say it is YOU.
THE INNER AFFORDABLE GOLF CARTS FLORIDA
You might ask why the golf cart that is the soul is made plural and why it must be associated with the state of Florida? These are all worthy questions. One might say that the golf cart of the soul is plural because the singular form of golf cart is insufficient to express the majesty of the thing described. You might say that it is associated with Florida because Florida is the “Sunshine State” and the sun is the ultimate symbol of the source of power and creation.
You might then ask why we refer to universal consciousness as “the Port Charlotte experience”? This in a sense is a more difficult nut to crack. Let us start with the notion that Port Charlotte is a port city. That is, it is a city (which is a collection or concentration of souls) to which ships that sail upon the ocean (which is a metaphor of the infinite) bring goods from afar. It is quite an infrequent event that an individual experiences a universal consciousness. It is quite impossible for the individual to make this happen on his own. No, the goods (as it were) must be delivered from afar across the infinite.