I Think I Just Joined Scentsy

flowersI have a friend who has been trying to get me to “join Scentsy” for some time now. At first I did not even know what she meant by this phrase. It sounded like some sort of cult to be perfectly honest. But she explained to me that Scentsy is a company that sells scented candles or some such. She went on an on about how Scentsy’s mission is to “inspire people with beautiful fragrances and the memories and emotions they bring forth.” (I am pretty sure she used that exact phrase). She said they were looking for “passionate people who want to succeed on their own terms.” I did not know quite what to make of all this jargon she was talking about. It seemed to me that she had joined Scentsy and Scentsy had taken over.

Then she got down to brass tax. She said if I made the decision to join Scentsy I could earn 20 to 36 percent commission on my sales with bonuses depending on my performance. I asked her why there was such a range in the amount of commission earned. She told me that new consultants (that would be my title once I joined) earn 20 percent on the first 1,000 points in “Personal Retail Volume” and 25 percent on all subsequent sales. In addition I could earn a 9 percent bonus on “Personal Wholesale Volume” based on rank. At this point I could feel my eyes begin to glaze over. She continued on and on about all expenses paid trips, learning valuable business skills and how I would make new friends with customers, hosts and all the other consultants. This is really the last thing I remember before I passed out and collapsed to the floor. Then I remember having a dream. I do not remember the exact content of the dream but I do recall the distinct presence of cinnamon and cloves. When I awoke I found myself alone in my bed with the strange sensation that I had somehow joined Scentsy and there was no turning back.